Saturday, June 16, 2012

Co-Sleeping

  Co-Sleeping is something that came very natural to me. Even before I had ever heard of something called "attachment parenting" I was a very attached parent. From the moment I gave birth to my first child, I never wanted to put her down. I didn't want to share her with anyone. It pained me to even let my family hold her. Yet, when we left the hospital, I never thought I would be bringing her to bed with me. I had a crib right in the room next to my own and I thought she would sleep peacefully in her cute little crib. HA, was I ever wrong. 
  I don't think I even made it through the first night, without bringing her to bed with me. I can remember putting her in her crib, she was probably a month old. She looked adorable, sleeping there. I went back to my own room, and paced back between my bed and hers for probably fifteen minutes or so, before I realized, I couldn't sleep without her. Having her in bed with me, made me feel loved. It made me like she was safe. I loved to look at her, and hold her in my arms, it didn't matter if it was day or night!She was a year old before I felt like I should move her to her crib. I will tell you that was the worst two nights ever. Again she was in a room next to mine and she just cried and cried. I cried and cried. I even called my mom, sobbing my eyes out. I still to this day do not know why I thought she needed to be moved to a crib, but after two nights she slept in a crib from then on.
  After my second was born, I had a bassinet next to our bed. I was up so any times during the night, I would end up bringing her to bed to nurse her, because every time I would try to lay her back down, she would wake right up again. I didn't mind though, I loved having my babies with me. My husband wasn't to bothered by it, so I let it go.
                                               Blixon sleeping cuddled up next to daddy
                                                           
 I think she was two before I even started putting her in a big girl bed, with her siblings (remember I had 2 bonus children, whom I did not co-sleep with, they were used to sleeping through the night in a crib, their biological mom was one to let them cry it out until they get used to being alone) and it took awhile to convert her fully but it happened in a more peaceful way, because often I would go upstairs and sleep in her bed if she fussed to much. That, I am certain was a funny sight, me all round and pregnant, climbing into a bottom bunk with a safety bar :-)
   I think the only reason we had moved Blixon out of bed was to make room for Gala. I had a crib for her as well, though I don't know why. My husband even asked, why bother. I just thought the bedding was cute, silly huh. I knew I didn't want her in a crib, let alone in another room. We only had it up for a few months, never used it. There is just something in me that doesn't want ot let go. Not to mention I don't want to get out of bed, to nurse, only to have baby wake up when I am putting them down into a crib or bassinet or cradle. Jamie even got to the point where, if they were sick and not sleeping with us, he told me to get them to bring them to bed with us. So that we could keep a close eye on them. I just love him.
                                     Gala sleeping cuddled up next to daddy
 When Hadassah came around, I had bought an Amby Hammock, thinking this will work. I can have it super close to my bed, she will hang, as if I were holding her. Jamie said, as long as you try. Well I did try. Let me tell you. I think I watched every episode of Criminal Minds there were, in those wee hours. After about two months, he said just lay down, get some sleep. And that was the end of that. Can't say I am sorry either. I slept better and Hadassah did. I even got a couple of all nighter's before she turned one, not many but still.
  We did end up buying a crib and just taking the side off and butting it against my side of the bed so that she could just crawl into bed with us whenever she woke up, usually a couple of hours. This gave hubby and I some cuddle time and still let us co-sleep. I didn't really feel that the Amby Hammock served as well as I hoped so I didn't fool with it, when Syhven came along.
  Hadassah went upstairs to sleep with her "buddy" big sister Blixon. This was not something that I pushed, Blixon actually asked. I htink co-sleepers generally like to sleep with someone, as Gala still likes to sleep with Haven any chance she can get.  I have done the same thing with Syhven though. After the first month or so, I started putting her in the crib butted against my bed and if she doesn't wake right up, as soon as she does I pick her up and bring her to bed for the night. Jamie tends to get a little done with co-seeping at around 15 months or so. Once they start taking up the majority of our bed. I personally think it's cute. Syhven likes to roll over away from me and cuddle up next to him, just like all her sisters did. No matter what age our kids are weaned at, they still enjoy the comfort of momma and daddy's bed.
  I know the culture of today, so many Dr.s preaching against co-sleeping. Even as to go so far as that ridiculous ad, about the baby sleeping next to a knife. I mean come on thats beyond ridiculous. I mean granted, if you are  using drugs, drinking or pass out tired then you probably should not be sleeping with your baby. But for those of us who do not do these things (minus the extreme tiredness of course) I see nothing safer than co-sleeping. More babies have died from SIDS in a crib all alone then co-sleeping. I have even heard from a co-sleeping friendly Dr. that babies naturally stop breathing for moments at a time and a parents breathing actually helps remind them to take a breath. I never thought to much about that, until one night Syhven scared me. I was sleeping and she was laying on my arm as usual, and all of a sudden I heard her gasp in and her whole chest and half her body raised up completely off of the bed. What if she had been in her crib all alone and not taken that breath??? Not to make light of an infants passing, I sympathize with those families, it's just I take offense, when people tell me I am putting my child in danger, by doing something God put in my heart. At creations start, I highly doubt that Adam and Eve made little Cain and Able a crib, for in the Garden.
  I am not against cribs or hammocks or nurseries or any of that. I am pro-sleeping and comfort. If a mom or dad is not comfortable with co-sleeping then they shouldn't do it, however they also shouldn't tell me that I shouldn't sleep with my baby. I think every parent should do what their gut instincts tell them to do. I just know I do NOT at all agree with allowing a baby to cry for more than 20-30 minutes. It is proven that a babies blood pressure will begin to rise, to the point of brain damage if this happens to often. I know I can not physically listen to a baby cry for  that long, I just can not do it. A baby can not be manipulative, a baby can not lie just to be held, a baby can not be spoiled, if a baby is crying, even just to be held, then that's what she needs, pick her up and love her, because before you know it, she doesn't want held anymore...
 
 

4 comments:

  1. i started cosleeping with sophia when she was 2 weeks old. i would sit on the edge of the bed constantly and watch her. trav would get so angry with me when i did that. i actually didnt want to cosleep with her but ended up sleeping with her anyways. she sleeps up on my arm when she sleeps i know most people put them on the bed directly i never felt comfortable doing it that way. i got the most sleep having her in bed with me then beside me. plus side they dont cry when they sleep with you they wake you up by moving telling you to get up than crying at least sophia does it that way.

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  2. Yes, I totally, totally agree! We have tried some form of all of that-crib, bassinet, hammock, side car crib but from the 2nd child on I have ended up cosleeping 90% of the time. I need to know they are safe and breathing and I just want them there to cuddle too :) I have to say I don't think I sleep as soundly when they are really small because I'm always afraid I might let a pillow get near them or something that I sleep very lightly. But on the same hand I know I would wake up constantly in fear to check their breathing or they wouldn't sleep as well any other way. Plus I don't have to go and get them everytime they want to nurse. They are right there so it is so easy not to even have to fully wake up which helps with better sleep to so it all evens out. My only downsides have been they want to nurse ALL night long since they are so close that it's hard for me to get them to night wean. But it all has worked out eventually and it's so worth it in my opinion anyway! I know I will miss it terribly when I one day don't have any little ones to cuddle up with at night!

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  3. Our baby is over a year and spent every night with me, I couldn't imagine making a baby sleep alone, nor would I sleep, So I totally agree and love when people positivly refer to cosleeping. We own a crib, 2 playpens and a swing but they serve as sit here a minute while I get dressed or play with this toy while I make you dinner places as they were intended when we bought them, with the crib we sidecar it the bars keep baby safe in our bed, hehe, when baby is old enough the bars will come off so as to add more sleeping space and allow for when we have more :) I find I like your blog and your kids names are charming.

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  4. I started co-sleeping a few weeks after we brought my daughter home. At first she slept fine in the bassinet, but after a week of that she wouldn't fall asleep. Right when I would lay her down she would wake up. So I would be awake all night, and soon enough she would fall asleep from exhaustion and I would get an hour or so of sleep. Once I could not stand staying awake any longer, I laid down w/ her and nursed her to sleep. Ever since, she has slept in my bed. I love it. . . A few times I woke up to her not breathing, I would gently shake her, and a few moments later she would start breathing again... I love it I am so intune w/ her needs. I always wake before she is fully awake and nurse her back to bed. We have been sleeping through the night since I started co-sleeping and she is now almost 7 months old. I have friends who tell me not for w/e reason they think. . . but I do what I want :)

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