Who are you trying to please? Are you trying to please yourself? Are you one of those people that through caution to the wind and do what feels good? Do you go against the grain because it's what you want, or rebel just because you don't like authority? I know biological parents who never see their children, why, because it's inconvenient! Some may think as long as they are not hurting anyone (at times they may be) or they are "nice" people it's ok, after all it is their life, right?
(Pixie (L.A.Ink) one of the cutest women in my opinion)
Who are you trying to please, your children? Most of us moms have a hard time trying to please ourselves. Once we have our children our life becomes their life, and it is no longer about us. However this can become a problem, almost as much as if we let it be all about us. I think it needs to be a balance rather. Easier said than done if you ask most of us. However if we let our lives be completely about our children (yes hubby to) then we loose ourselves. I have heard many mothers say they don't even know who they are anymore. I have to admit I struggle with this as well. We all know the stereotype moms we think about, at least I do. I want to be this mom most of the time, despite the fact I do not feel like "me" when I am tyring to be her. After all I am thirty years old now, a Christian wife and mother to seven children, shouldn't I be her?
(Devoted to Domestic Issues, T.V. show in the 50's)
Are you trying to please others? I have struggled with this as well. Over the years I have offered to take on more than I should trying to please others. I have lied, or even stayed silent, on issues that I thought I felt strongly about, just to keep the peace. I am a "grin and bear it" kind of person for the most part. I will try to do my best to impress certain people. Or change my way of doing things so that I fit in. But who will ever know you for you? Will you enjoy your life, truly enjoy it when you always have to be on your toes and ready to please at all times.
(taken from http://rweavernest.com/blog/2011/08/31/what-to-wear-the-family-version/)
Is it possible to be balanced? Can you serve yourself, your family, and others all while serving God? Can I have tattoo's, as many as I want and piercings and not be judged? Will it make me less of a good mother? Can I go grocery shopping alone? Will it make me less of a good mother? Will others still like me if I do not sign up to take over? Or will they want to be my friend if I don't look just like them? Does it mean that I am any less a good Christian if I choose to put on a pair of pants, or get a new tattoo or send my children to public school rather than home school?
I don't think so. I think that we can have tattoo's and a nose rings, I think that we can want a "moms day out" I think that we should be honest, even if it's saying "no, not this time" I think that as long as we are not showing off our goods, we can wear what we feel comfortable in and God will still love us, after all He is looking at our hearts right, not our appearance right?
I do not fit the mold! Time and time again I have tried, I simply do not. However I still put my family above all next to God and I still aim to please. I want to have close friends love me for me and I want to sport some comfy Aeropostale sweat pants and get the occasional tattoo, what can I say I love tattoo's. I am going to listen to Christina Aguilara every once in awhile but my favorite, Mandisa (Christian Pop) I do not wear a typical bathing suit (Princess wear all the way) and my kids will not wear short shorts-period. I have friends who only wear skirts and that's ok with me. I watch some rated R movies (depending on the content) but my children are not allowed to watch teen nick or even the Disney channel. I know I do not make sense to alot
Who are you trying to please, your children? Most of us moms have a hard time trying to please ourselves. Once we have our children our life becomes their life, and it is no longer about us. However this can become a problem, almost as much as if we let it be all about us. I think it needs to be a balance rather. Easier said than done if you ask most of us. However if we let our lives be completely about our children (yes hubby to) then we loose ourselves. I have heard many mothers say they don't even know who they are anymore. I have to admit I struggle with this as well. We all know the stereotype moms we think about, at least I do. I want to be this mom most of the time, despite the fact I do not feel like "me" when I am tyring to be her. After all I am thirty years old now, a Christian wife and mother to seven children, shouldn't I be her?
Are you trying to please others? I have struggled with this as well. Over the years I have offered to take on more than I should trying to please others. I have lied, or even stayed silent, on issues that I thought I felt strongly about, just to keep the peace. I am a "grin and bear it" kind of person for the most part. I will try to do my best to impress certain people. Or change my way of doing things so that I fit in. But who will ever know you for you? Will you enjoy your life, truly enjoy it when you always have to be on your toes and ready to please at all times.
(taken from itsnature.org)
Are you a Christian trying to please God? Now this can be a good one, right? I mean we are to serve Him. Seek Him everyday all day? I know there are many people satisfied and fulfilled by being completely devoted to the Lord. I am not talking church on Sunday, Wednesday bible study, the occasional bible reading. I am talking the people who do not have T.V., the people who do not celebrate holidays with either pagan rituals or meaning or those that are lies as Santa & the Easter bunny, the people who either wear head coverings or skirts or never cut their hair. Those who wake up and pray before getting out of bed, who read their bible before getting their day started, those who pray without ceasing. Those who have a large happy, homeschooling family. I look up those people, alot. There is absolutely nothing at all wrong with any of this, I often covet a life like this. We fit into several of these categories, but not all of them.
Is it possible to be balanced? Can you serve yourself, your family, and others all while serving God? Can I have tattoo's, as many as I want and piercings and not be judged? Will it make me less of a good mother? Can I go grocery shopping alone? Will it make me less of a good mother? Will others still like me if I do not sign up to take over? Or will they want to be my friend if I don't look just like them? Does it mean that I am any less a good Christian if I choose to put on a pair of pants, or get a new tattoo or send my children to public school rather than home school?
I don't think so. I think that we can have tattoo's and a nose rings, I think that we can want a "moms day out" I think that we should be honest, even if it's saying "no, not this time" I think that as long as we are not showing off our goods, we can wear what we feel comfortable in and God will still love us, after all He is looking at our hearts right, not our appearance right?
I do not fit the mold! Time and time again I have tried, I simply do not. However I still put my family above all next to God and I still aim to please. I want to have close friends love me for me and I want to sport some comfy Aeropostale sweat pants and get the occasional tattoo, what can I say I love tattoo's. I am going to listen to Christina Aguilara every once in awhile but my favorite, Mandisa (Christian Pop) I do not wear a typical bathing suit (Princess wear all the way) and my kids will not wear short shorts-period. I have friends who only wear skirts and that's ok with me. I watch some rated R movies (depending on the content) but my children are not allowed to watch teen nick or even the Disney channel. I know I do not make sense to alot
Wow, such a good post. I love your ability to be so honest. It's very refreshing. I really and truly can relate to what you wrote. I often feel stuck in between somewhere. I never quite fit in. I feel I've lost my identity often and "just" become mommy. It's a title I wear proudly and love SOOO much but sometimes I miss getting to nurture me for just me. It's something that has affected me in a hard way at times. Often I feel I keep who I really am inside and don't share it because others just don't get it or I'm afraid of what other will think. My personality always wants to please others, I don't want to offend or make others think less of me. It's so hard sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI look up to the large, quiverful families that only wear skirts and such. Secretly I envy their life or what I "think" their life might be like. I figure they must have the peace I'm lacking or the perfect marriage I wish I had. Their kids are better behaved so they must be better moms LOL. It's silly when I type it out but these things go through my head. Even though after much, much study I don't believe God requires me to be quiverful or wear skirts only (nothing wrong with these things of course) I still feel like I'm "not good enough" in a way when around people that are like that (nothing they are doing I'm sure it's all me and the way I feel about myself). But yet I tend toward being very "crunchy", earth friendly, "hippieish" and I don't really fit into that "group" either as many of them tend to be much more liberal than I am. I am a very conservative Christian in MANY ways. When I'm around my friends and family I feel often like they really don't get who I really am. I'm so thankful for the Internet and being able to connect with others in some form who I can relate to!!
I believe as you said we must find a balance. We of course need to please God first and need to search the scriptures for ourselves and make sure our clothing, actions, lifestyle etc.. are bringing him glory and reflecting what he wants us to do. But I think it's normal and ok to want to "fit in a bit" as well as long as we don't compromise God's will and limits and it's also super important to nurture who we are. God made us each so unique and special. We aren't all going to be cookie cutter copies! If we nurture that we will be happier and that will carry over into being happier moms and more energized, joyful workers for God. Ha, I think I might have to start taking some of my own advice and stop hidding who I really am inside :)
(Sorry that got so long.....)
BRAVO for you! Don't apologize for the length. It got you writing, right? You were thinking about things. Most of which I of course agree with :-) But as we know all of it is so much easier to say then to do, at least for me. I know what you mean about your family to, all of mine only see me as a bible thumper,which is ok, but they don't know ME. I say step out and be you, I like YOU :-)
DeleteThanks for this! I'm struggling with the balancing act too (as you know)! And I too sometimes envy the quiverful families. They do seem at peace! I always think, "If I have a bunch of kids (which I want either way), wear skirts all the time, dont cut my hair, sell my tv's etc. my marriage and kids will have to line up and be perfect too." It does sound nuts when I read it myself. At least I'm not the only person who feels this way... I thought I was! So my question (somewhat rhetorical, unless you have an answer!) is how do we figure it all out?! I know by Bible study...but when I read that "women are to dress modestly" I automatically think, skirts! I prefer jeans, but feel like I SHOULD wear skirs... I'm a mess...and I'm rambling...anythoughts?
ReplyDeleteI am a christian mom too and agree that it is very alright to seek to please God.
ReplyDeleteI very much agree, we should always seek to please God. I do believe that each of us will please God in many different ways. He made us unique and we all have special qualities and interests that we can use to please Him :-)
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