Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I Don't want to be so Plain

  Do you ever just wish to be someone else, even for just a day. Or maybe just be different??? I know I certainly do. Now don't get me wrong, I love my children and my husband more than life itself. It's just some days, I don't feel like taking care of goats and being so plain, or even homeschooling. Some days I just want to do my hair, put make-up on and get my nails done, maybe even get a pedicure ( never had one but sure wish I could) I love tattoo's and some days...some days I feel really spunky and think, hmmm maybe a tongue ring!
  Ha, NO I'm not going to get my tongue pierced, not that in my opinion there is anything wrong with that. Maybe I has split personalities, some days I want to be a crunchy hippie momma and others, others I feel like being a plain skirt wearing momma, and some a tom-boy in yoga pants in a t-shirt. I feel I have fallen into the mommy look, you know plain top-if not a nursing shirt, jeans or a skirt, tennis shoes or flats, no make up and  undone hair.
  I am thirty years old now. I have seven children and have been with my husband for eleven and a half years. You would think I would know by now who I am. Well, I know who I am. I am a God fearing wife and mother. But I look around and most women are. They just are. They have a style and rarely sway from it. Sure they may dress up or down on an occasion, but they are predictable. Not me. I am so bored right now. I really do not think I have found the true "look" for me. I feel in my heart I am a spunky fun, corky, off kind of dresser, yet in my head I want to be classy and sophisticated, yet we live in a small town on a farm, neither seem very practical. Not to mention the fact, despite what I may say, I do care how others perceive me and I am a Christian so no matter how "cool" I think tattoo's are I obviously wouldn't get covered in them (no I do not think anything is wrong with tattoo's I have some) but I don't want to walk into church and have people stare, or be out in public with my children, having people think, wow that woman needs to grow up! My husband  says "who cares what everyone thinks, wear what you want to, look how you want" sometimes I feel like it's just not that easy. I mean I don't want to walk around in revealing, skimpy clothes, just more me funky clothes.
  I wish I had a large amount of money and an entire weekend to myself, well maybe with my mom or a girlfriend to just shop. Just try on everything, I mean I rarely get to try on anything. I am always with all of the kids, so I just grab and go if it's on sale. I need an entire wardrobe for every day of the week
;-) Aah the life a  confused mother. Maybe someday.

8 comments:

  1. Having only 5 kids, I have days like that, I think you are just having one of those days where you feel overwhelmed. I homeschool too and honestly, when you have so many kids around the house all day long, there is no time for those things. Prayers for you. (And get a pedicure in May) you won't regret it...

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  2. Oh, I have these days too! I long for a morning I can just sleep! I don't mean until 9 or 10 (which I am thankful for when it does happen!), I want to sleep until noon or one...lol. I always was a sleeper! Just one morning to wake up to peace and quiet whenever I feel like getting up out of bed! :)

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  3. Hi Tiffany,
    I agree with Kim. I think it is our natural response at times to all of the responsibility one has as a mamma to many, especially when homeschooling, too! You don't get too much time to yourself, I am sure. Kudos to your sweet husband who sounds very encouraging! I don't know whether you have consignment/used clothing places close by but there a 'splurge' isn't too expensive. :-) And the pedicure is a wonderful $25 lift to the spirits. God bless and hang in there, Sweetie.

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  4. I have had those days when all the kids were home and there are still days I feel that way I think its just every one has those feelings to just get away change our look or wear some thing different from the norm. if at all possible put a dollar back each time you go to the store till you have enough to go for that pedi and maybe a little window shopping. your a beautiful woman no matter what you wear or have your hair, prayers go up for you and much love

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  5. Oh wow, I can relate LOL!! So happy to have found your blog.

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  6. Holy cow! You sound just like me! I was always a punky/tom boy kind of girl. Since becoming a mom, I have been convicted to wear skirts/dresses. But some days.... I want my crayon red hair back LOL! I loved tattoos also before this conviction, and now I'm not sure how I feel about them I flip flop ALOT!!! I get on my own nerves sometimes... It's nice to know I'm not the only one who can't make up my mind. Would it be too much to ask for you to email me about this? I would love someone to talk to...
    becky
    beckedy1003@hotmail.com

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